I’m a forgiving person. I give people chances. Each and every time. After all, we are human beings and mistakes can happen by anyone. No matter how small or how big. People who have known me since my teenage years have berated me for that. They hated the fact that I kept my tolerance level sky high and let myself be run over. I was a complete pushover and as a result I took it all. And believe me, I took some really crappy stuff and never said a word. It would hurt so bad. Really bad. But I never said anything. Instead I just smiled through it and said, ‘oh it’s okay’ and gave those second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth… chances.
But there also comes a time where you have to put your foot down.
I never did that. Not until I started thinking for myself. Not until I started living for myself and actually caring about my own feelings and emotions. That’s when I realised that it wasn’t them but me who was in the wrong all along. I let them treat me like that. When I realised that, I started to change and took a whole new path to a much happier place.
Forgiving people? Yes. Forgiving them for EVERYTHING? NO. Actually strike that. I might forgive to save my own sanity and bring peace to my own heart but I was done giving millions of chances. I just shook hands (metaphorically) and went on my own way.
Sometimes I do wonder what if I hadn’t. What if I had never started thinking about myself? Would I have still continued to give those chances? Yes. As a result of it, I would have been run over for the rest of my life. And now that I see how happier I am by lowering my tolerance levels, I refuse to let myself get hurt deeply anymore. There’s only so much I can take at the end of the day. There’s only so much I can let myself hurt.