“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me, damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mould. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” – Stacey Charter.
The minute I read this, it became my all-time favourite quote. I can easily relate to this because almost all my life I have had people yell/advice/tell me who I should be, what I need to do, how I need to do it, how I need to behave and a whole lot of similar ‘recommendations’. I say ‘almost all my life’ because I have finally begun to reach a stage where I am happy being the person I am.
I’m not perfect and I have no desire to be. I have my flaws but I have learned to accept them and I have learned to find ways to deal with them. Just because I don’t happen to be dealing with them according to the standards of others, it doesn’t mean I am not working on them. As long I am not physically, mentally or emotionally hurting someone, I’m happy dealing with it in my own way.
I have had a hard time getting people to accept me for who I am. For years I would wonder why it was so difficult. Then it hit me.
“If I couldn’t accept my own self for who I was, then I really couldn’t expect others to accept me for who I am.”
I had to be comfortable in my own skin, I had to love myself for who I was, I had to have that faith and belief in myself before I could even remotely expect it from others. If not, I would only get trampled on. And that is exactly what happened. For years together, that I lost complete sense of my own identity. That is not a good thing.
It is only then that I started changing the way I think. Easier said than done. When you spend your life hearing, feeling and thinking like a ‘no good, loser, worthless s***’, you invariably believe in it too. But the minute I started changing my own thinking, I realised that I am not as bad as I heard or thought I was. It was much easier to tackle pain, especially emotional or mental pain.
We often to tend to take our thoughts and emotions for granted and we don’t really see the negative effect it can have on us. Especially when those very same thoughts and emotions are highly negative. We don’t realise how powerful they are until and unless we are deep inside the sandpit and are at the brink of getting buried forever.
Ever since I read this quote, I have made a promise to myself to not let negativity get to me. At least not for a long time. I am human. It is but expected that there are times when I will feel like the whole world is against me or something. But the promise I made was to never dwell on it for a long time. Give myself some time to rant and whine about it and then eventually move on.
I have accepted myself wholeheartedly, good AND the bad and you know what? Life has never been happier.