Every Christmas, New Year, Easter Sunday and other occasions, masses would be conducted on the church ground instead of inside the church. Scores of people would attend and not everyone would fit inside the church.
She would go along with her family. He went along with his family as well.
The first time she laid eyes on him, she wanted to slap him. The first time he laid eyes on her, he was frowning. Neither said nor did anything though.
Invariably every year on every occasion they would spot each other. Him, with his frown and her, with her feeling of making his face un-frown.
It took a while for her to realise that that was his natural face. But then she began to notice things about him. Like how tall he was, how well dressed he would be, his eyes, his frown (she grew to be fond of it), his voice (he would conduct the readings at times during mass), his family etc. Even though they didn’t speak, she knew that he was noticing things about her too. Or at least she hoped.
Without realising it, she started taking more care with the way she looked, how she handled herself and so on. She started looking forward to glimpses of him every time she went for mass. They barely had eye contact but when they did, she would always have the urge to giggle or laugh out loud. So she would concentrate on keeping a straight face and either look away or look down and hide her grin.
She got to know his name by accident. One of the Fathers of the church was testing the mike and yelled out his name. That’s how she knew. He never got to know her name though.
There were times when it was pure luck that their families happen to choose seats either before or after each other. Resulting in either he would be sitting in front of her or she would be sitting in front of him. She preferred him sitting in front. Obviously. Her heart always raced at the sight of him. It almost made her feel at peace. It made her feel normal in her secretive chaotic mess of a world.
She was in school the first time she saw him. She knew it wasn’t love at first sight or any such thing. For her, it was a way of knowing that her heart could feel such emotions and that she wasn’t all destroyed yet. It was a way of looking forward to something. Even if it was just a glance from a boy.
Years passed by and she graduated, got her first job, but they never spoke to each other except for those glances. Not one ‘hello’ or any such dramatic words. Eventually she moved away and that was that.
She did notice one thing though. His frown did reduce considerably.
P.S. To be honest, I don’t remember much about my first crush. I don’t think I even had one. Apart from Robert Downey Jr. But EVERYONE loves him. I didn’t know what exactly to write about that so I made up a story. Well, parts of it are made up.